Be Curious.. Not Judgmental.
~~ Walt Whitman
This is a topic that probably consumes more of my time than necessary. Clearly I have thought about it. Several friends know I have talked about it. But still it stays with me like a nagging piece of glass in my foot. Why? Because I am still STRIVING, and not 100% there yet. It bugs me. Am I judging myself for it? Yeah. Think so.
This particular rant is prompted by a judgment I made on the way home from work today. I saw a couple leaving a restaurant, and the woman had on a shirt that in my opinion did not flatter her. NOW I sound civil and can say nice words like, “in my opinion didn’t flatter her”, but when I saw it I thought “WHY would she wear that?”. Here is something you need to know about me. I have a long skirt I adore, that my husband calls my table-cloth skirt. I love purple and will go forth boldly in it, and lots of it. Crazy shapes, patterns and swirly cloths make me happy. I have celebrated my first jubilee and my hair is down the middle of my back. You get it. I (like thy) have no room to judge. So you know, I love these things about me, but I have received recommendations, so I get that some find them “quirky”.
Why have I inserted a picture of Van Gogh’s Starry Night here? Because it is one of my favorites of all time, and I felt like doing it. Don’t judge me.
Okay let’s do a little experiment. If you can manage to pull it off (meaning that you still sometimes have to process the whole “judge not lest you be judged thing” – thanks Matthew) – make a judgment. Or think about a judgment you have made. –
How does it feel?
It feels harsh.
If feels hard.
It feels disconnected.
It feels uncomfortable.
I don’t like it.
Now try this on for size.
Acknowledge what you are seeing. Acknowledge what you are feeling. Leave the judgment at the door.
This is how I know if I am judging or observing:
- Judgment will come with a wave of emotion.
- Observing will just be, and move on.
- Judgment will have hard edges.
- Observing Edges are soft.
- Judgment will suck you into a conversation. Your ego will have to get involved to back up your judgment.
- Observing let’s it go. Moves on. Nothing more to see here.
- Judgment often gets said in a conversation missing the person being judged.
Of course judgment is not just a thought missile shot toward others. We are the hardest on ourselves. I have an inkling, that the less we judge ourselves, the less we will judge others. The more we accept ourselves, the easier it is to accept others. Since I have crossed the mid-century line, I can tell you with strong conviction, we usually know squat. You never know how you will deal with a situation until you actually deal with it. Until you are at the threshold of a decision, you don’t know what you would choose. My plan is to use this understanding to save my words and time blah blah blahing about something I am not really equipped to chime in on.
Finally, Light Being to Light Being, I ask you, don’t judge yourself by your past. It is gone. Over. Done . NOW is NOW is NOW. You are so very powerful in the NOW when you aren’t burdened with a steam trunk full of then on your back.
Out in the open Easter Egg for any Fringe Fans